The gentlebirth.org website is provided courtesy of
Ronnie Falcao, LM MS, a homebirth midwife in Mountain View, CA

About Partner's View of Homebirth

I had a hellish first birth in the hospital because my husband wouldn't let me birth at home. (Every time I was disturbed by anyone from the hospital, my labor stopped completely. This made for a ***VERY*** long birth.) He was miserable the entire birth and in the middle even asked "couldn't we go home and call a midwife?" I seem to recall that I said "No, you wanted this hospital birth and this is where we have to stay. You're getting this birth YOUR way"

If your husband is worried about being usurped by the midwife , how will he feel with 15 or 20 hospital folk making him feel totally insignificant?

I too am due in June. My husband can't wait for our homebirth. If I ask really nicely, maybe he'll send a post telling why homebirth is better for husbands than hospital births. He can site the possibilities of a shorter labor, faster recovery, happier mom, no resentment about the 'bad birth' experience (that will be directed at him with gale force if he persuades you to birth at the hospital), The safety of homebirth vs. the iatrogenic problems (those caused by the hospital environment) inherent in hospital birth.

My advice is EDUCATE them whether they like it or not. learned most of what he knows from my quoting statistics fairly frequently..."Do you realise that....add your fact here" I always said it in the most shocked indignant voice I could muster. It sunk in! The Farm in Tennessee(they're on the web) has a great study of the safety of homebirth Vs. hospital birth for the more analytical husbands. Print it off for him --couldn't hurt / might help.

Don't count on your husband reading anything to do with pregnancy. Most men are too squeamish to even read the word 'vagina' much less the rest of it. (My apologies to the wonderful Nick and others like him who are unfailing in their support of pregnancy and homebirth)

The best thing that we did was go to Bradley classes. They are pretty extensive and informative. My swears that they are the **only** way to go (my apologies to any Lamaze folk out there) and that everyone should take them.

Hey, I just had a thought. says that it's hard to get into the idea about the baby until he feels it move. Maybe your husband isn't disinterested, but rather he doesn't feel the reality of it yet! I mean you don't 'look' pregnant yet, right? Maybe once he sees the ultrasound or feels the baby moving he will get motivated!

I spoke to the midwife who delivered our little girl and here is what she said:

Have him read "Where to be born: The Debate and the Evidence". Speak to other couples who have had homebirths - you don't want your husband to feel that the women (you and the midwife) are ganging up on him. The support of other men is important. You might look for a homebirth support group.

Most of all, it takes two. Unless he is supportive, you should probably not have a homebirth.

Here's my additional two cents:

If he won’t read the books, get them and read to him. In the car as your driving along, at the dinner table, etc. The evidence does speak for itself.

Remember that he is just trying to protect you and the baby - he believes that the hospital is the safest place. His motives are good. Once he realizes that you are safer at home, maybe he will change his mind.