The gentlebirth.org website is provided courtesy of
Ronnie Falcao, LM MS, a homebirth midwife in Mountain View, CA

Stress Approaching Birth

As I read the debate of interventions, epidurals, homebirths, etc., I can't help but fight the tears as I sit here 4 days from my due date, emotional as hell reminiscing about the hellish experience from my c-section 17 months ago. I have planned this birth to the best of my ability, and some of those plans include NOT to have an epidural unless a cesarean is necessary. The reasons for this include the fact that I don't think the anesthetist who performed my epidural was even a Doctor. I think the "real" anesthetists were all busy, so they called in the janitor and put a lab coat on him, and told him to do it. I'm amazed that I was not paralyzed from the event. Epidurals are wonderful for helping with the pain, but I think is many ways they do a great disservice to women. My epidural was not my idea. It was pushed on me by staff who already decided I was having a c-section, and they just couldn't be bothered with me. I was given the epidural and left alone until someone got around to cutting me open. Sad, but true. I hear of it happening all the time. At the time, you believe what they tell you. You think they have your best interests at heart. Madonna had an epidural and a c-section. Can't you just "feel" what probably happened there? She is obviously a strong independent person, but you put your trust in these people and do the best you can. I was so much hoping for an unmedicated natural VBAC this time. I have already agreed to IV antibiotics for GBS during labor. I don't want it, but I had to make a decision and I have. I have high blood pressure and some protein in my urine. I am on the verge of induction, trying desperately to rest and keep the BP down until labor starts on its own. My point is that even if we want things to be UNMEDICATED and NATURAL, sometimes you have to make choices you are not really happy about, but they are the best you can do with your present circumstances. My goal now is to avoid a c-section, with as few interventions as possible. That is all I can do. At least this time, any interventions I submit to will be MY decision, and that helps a lot. I wish I had the support to go homebirth with a great midwife like many of you do. I would probably feel a lot less stressed out right now....